Monday, June 29, 2009

"but I am the chosen one," ;D

So initially I was going to just pick one quote from the book, but there's too many that I like so I'm gonna list some of them out, heh. yes, i'm nerdy like this and lifeless. :D

"I will only truly have left this school when none here are loyal to me... Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it." -Albus Dumbledore.

"I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you." -Albus Dumbledore.

“Tell me one last thing,” said Harry. “Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?” “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” -Harry and Dumbledore.

"Severus Snape wasn't yours," said Harry. "Snape was Dumbledores, Dumbledores from the moment you started hunting down my mother..." -Harry to Voldemort.

He was laughing at her. "Come on, you can do better than that!" he yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room. The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest. -Sirius to Bellatrix.

"You are nearly there," said James. "Very close. We proud of you." - James Potter

I love Harry Potter, the franchise not the character. :)

Maggy, do we watch the first showing or macam mana? The movie's coming out in less than 3 weeks mind you.

love, love.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Look on the bright side is suicide,

"My mother died every night, it’s safe to say don’t quote me on that"

Feeling the moment slip away
Losing direction, you're losing faith
You're wishing for someone
Feeling it all begin to slide
Am I just like you?
All the things you do - can't help myself

How do you feel when there's no sun?
How do you feel when rain drops come pouring down again?
How do you feel when there's no one?
Am I just like you?

Turning to face what you've become
Bury the ashes of someone
Broken by the strain
Trying to fill that space inside
Am I just like you?
All the things you do - can't help myself

Don't ever feel that you're alone
I'll never let you down
I'll never leave you dry
Don't fall apart
Don't let it go
Carry the motion
Carry the motion back to me

Feeling the moment the slip away

Am I just like you?
How do you feel when there's no sun?
How do you feel when rain drops come pouring down again?
How do you feel when there's no one?
Am I just like you?

"I’m on warm milk and laxatives, cherry-flavored antacids"

Friday, June 26, 2009

We hope that your rules and wisdom choke you,

"I'm just a painter and I'm drawing a blank"

Soooo, went to watch Transformers 2:Revenge Of The Fallen on Tuesday. TERBAIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKK!!!


Went to watch with them boys (minus 3 of them) and the rest of they're friends. Thanks for having me you guys. :) I give Transformers 2 a 9.3 over 10. Walaupun pada hakikat sebenarnya, you get quite tired by the animations halfway through the movie and that it doesn't really have a strong storyline and and your butt gets quite numb for sitting still for so long. But apa apa lah. We went for the first showing. :D After the movie, went to Uptown to eat. I had rojak buah (that everyone ate.. especially si Herri yg basically was licking the freakin plate) and SmallFeet belanja me Kuey Teow yang I tak habis pun.... bazir je. Then the boy sent me home and they went to dota. '-,-

You would have to pardon the quality of the camera. It's not usually this crappy.



Last night I saw El Cantante which means *i think* The Singer. Jennifer Lopez cun la teramat sangat in that movie. Marc Anthony played Hector REEEEEALLY well.


Since it's summer, there's countless of movies out there yang saya NAAAAAAAK sangat tengok. Anyone nak pegi tengok Public Enemies dengan saya?


Toodles noodles.

"If we could make it through the night, we'll see the sun"

Monday, June 22, 2009

Ya Allah, ni terbaik. Sila pergi ke blog ini---->

Don't lose your heart, you'll need it.

"You'll have to take another pill, and tell another lie and lie amongst your lies"

Yngwie Malmsteen is THE SHIT!!! *clears throat* pardon me.

I slept for more than 12 hours yesterday.... YAYYY! I have been sleeping for less than 3 hours at night for the past week. But yesterday's sleep totally made up for it. Wheeeeee~

Before I tell you guys anything, happy birthday twins, you're 19 this year. (:

Oh, em, I was watching twilight(yes, saya tengok twilight. Gelak lah.) with my brother tadi... We barely tengok a quarter pun, my brother terlalu tak suka. Anyways, when we were watching the scene where Edward walked out of the office, my brother went "What The HECK!" in Indian slang. Hahaha. Bangang punya adik. *okay, that was funnier when it happened. -,-*

Okay so, last Saturday I woke up pagi2 pegi skolah sebab Guides ada camp for 3 days. The seniors didn't have to sleep there but we went everyday to over see the activities. Anyways, after lunch we (The Boy, Maggy, SmallFeet and I) went to CapSquare for Rockaway. The crowd was okay and there were smelly, sweaty people everywhere. Maggy got me a bag there! But since SmallFeet had to go Tahlil we balik and reached DU by like 5-ish macam tu. Went to Devi's Taman Tun to eat, and then The Boy sent me home so I can shower and get ready for MK Night pulak. Around 9, left the home for MK Night with Mags... The Boy drove. MK Night pun okay lah, Maggy and I painted our faces! :) I painted her's and she painted mine. I freestyled the design on Mags face, so the result was weird. Left for home at around 11.30..

Later, laaaaater that night SmallFeet called. I was hungry so we decided to go makan. Thanks SmallFeet! We didnt know where to eat, so after isi minyak and much talk... we settled for Idaman. Had a very nice talk with SmallFeet. I didn't know I could be so talkative and comfortable around you dude. Left for home at around 3 plus. Balik tak tido, left home early for Z's sports day then went to Guides Camp and was there untill 5 petang.

Pastu at home, around 6-ish I went to sleep... ingat nak bangun malam sikit but tengok2 it was already tomorrow morning. So that's how I spent my weekend.

Oh and by the way, Haikal's being quarantined... Kawan dia, Benjamin is positive for H1N1. Fuck. Should Haikal be positive too (and let's pray dia tak), I would also be quarantined. :/ Gosh, babi, babi.

Leaving with pictures:

From Camp:






That's Ra. (:

From CapSquare:


I reaaaaaaaally like this picture. (:



Please excuse our retarded faces. -___________-

P.S. : I heard something happened last night? :( Don't lose yourself dude.

"Always searching for something he can't find, Always hoping someday fate'll be kind"

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It's always raining in my head,

If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand. I hope you find out what you want. I already know what I am. And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again. And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am. I'll grow old and start acting my age. I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate. A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone. And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone. Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget. If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state. You can keep to yourself. I'll keep out of your way. And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down. Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out. It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room, when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds. So call it quits or get a grip. Say you wanted a solution. You just wanted to be missed. Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget... You are calm and reposed. Let your beauty unfold. Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones. Spring keeps you ever close. You are second hand smoke. You are so fragile and thin. Standing trial for your sins. Holding onto yourself the best you can. You are the smell before rain. You are the blood in my veins. Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

Monday, June 15, 2009

"it's good enough for me, to see you in my dreams"

Sorry if I didn't get the lyrics right dude. That same line has been playing in my head over and over again. Dude, I gotta hear you play this song or my mind's gonna keep playing that line, very very loudly, in my head over and over again... and that shall drive me crazy.

I had something I wanted to say, but I completely lost it. :/ I hate it when that happens, don't you?

I loike this weeks postsecret;

42 years.

and also this one,


It says, "Knowing too many secrets, I forget mine."

I also found this cute, home made video i like...

Oh, hm. Rockaway this weekend at Capsquare. Saya mahu pegi. Anyone nak teman? :

I'm off to go do some accounting now. Chong seemed so disappointed in me, I feel obliged to finish her work. Oh oh, sebelum itu, Puan Catherine came into class today and started talking about Jai Ho... (: I'm gonna miss Five Meranti when we're all, in Puan Cat's words, 'Jai Ho-ing' across the world. I'm gonna miss being a teen... I'm not ready to grow up. Oh well.

Selamat Petang.

"So kiss me again, cause only you can stop this st-st-st-stuttering"

Friday, June 12, 2009

The pills just make me reset,

"dream catch me when I fall, or else I won't come back at all"

I already typed out what I wanted to post yesterday and the day before, but never got around to actually posting them. So here they are:

June 11, 2009

I miss watching the sun rise. It's been a while since I took the time to stop and smell the roses, figuratively speaking of course (I don't like flowers). My mind's been in such a tumult lately, I forgot to appreciate and thank God for all the pity and grace and chances that He's given me. No matter how many times I've tried to off myself, He's never failed to give me a chance to live and repent. I hope He forgives me for wasting His chances in vain. Also for failing to thank Him for all that He's given me and my loved ones. To you reading, here's your reminder to be thankful to God or whatever higher power you believe in. I believe that life is painful because God wants to remind us of our place in His creation. How small, frail and needy we really are. I don't complain (at least I try not to) and I don't question the things that I have to go through, knowing that I don't really deserve His kindness and grace because of all the sins that I've done. He has given me many chances at life, nearly all wasted. I pray that this time around, this chance I have I shall use wisely. I know that my reward will come once I am worthy enough to deserve it. I am tainted, cowardly and lost, it's about time I start walking in the right direction.

June 12, 2009

Ten more days. I need to visit both of you soon. I'm missing you guys terribly. I need someone to listen, and you guys do that best. I'm sorry we never we actually got a chance to actually talk. I love you, both of you. I wish you guys are alive, I'm in dire need of help. I never question why God took both of you away from me, from us. I just wish both of you are here, helping me, guiding me because I don't know what else to do.

You, please don't give up on me. I don't know why I feel this way. All these things never bothered me before, why now? Tell me how to make this go away. I don't know how to begin to describe, to express, to let out. I need help. Just this once, let the world revolve around me instead of you.

You know what? forget it. I need to just breathe.

I didn't re-check the post. So please pardon my english and the grammatical errors.

"I'm under that night. I'm under those same stars"

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Hello there, the angel from my nightmares.

"the unsuspecting victims of darkness in the valley"

I've been missing both of you. I know both of your birthdays are coming up, I'm sorry it's been awhile since I last visited. No excuses. Sorry. I dreamt about you guys last night. /: I miss you guys. I prayed for you yesterday, I hope God put both of you in a good place. Weird that I can love two people I've never gotten a chance to know. I love both of you, I'll see you soon(not too soon la hopefully kan?). Al-Fatihah.

It's been a while since I last wrote(like creatively). I wonder if God is punishing me for my sins by not letting me write. *sighs* Me not being able to write is eating me up alive inside. I can possibly kill myself because of this. No, takdelah, but it might as well kill me. I hate not being able to write, all these emotions trapped in me, with no way to be released. Gah!

At Maggy's by the way. Now listening to Haikal talk about his friend singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in the Indian slang. -________________-

Oh Haikal played futsal with them boys tadi. :) Haikal scored two nice goals, yayy. Tonight ended with a sweaty hug. Gosh, bukan main melekit lagi my baju. Tetapi saya suka peluk orang, so macam terima je. Heh.

Esok nak pegi makan roti canai. Wheeeeeeeeeee~

Oh emmm boys(yes, itu maksudnya the boy, flutterby, OrangeJuice, SmallFeet serta awak2 yang lain), I miss you.

Selamat Malam.

"We'll have Halloween on Christmas, and in the night we'll wish this never ends"

Sunday, June 7, 2009

In this world,

"Can you feel it? Rushing through your hair, rushing through your head"

No matter how hard they try
And no matter how loud they cry
They can't, buy their way into heaven
No matter how hard they try
And no matter how high they climb up the ladder
They won't reach up into heaven

(takde kena mengena dengan benda di atas)

Bestfriend, I love you.
Let me tell you about the first time I met her.
We were 9(or 10 was it?), It was the first day of school and macam biasa, budak ni datang lambat. Dan dan the seat next to me was empty, so dia pun duduk lah next to me. I remember her mother wearing that weird tudung thingy *hahaha* tunggu kat luar pintu belakang kelas. We weren't best of friends lagi masa tu, but we were friendly enough when we sat next to each other. Kita bising like nobody's business sampai Puan Noriza marah2. But after that year, kita tak kawan dah, truth be told, I even forgot she exist. Tapiiiii, fast forward to 3(or 2) years after that, we became friends again... I didn't like her at first (you curi my then bestfriend! hahaha) but ntah macam mana, perempuan ni memang tak boleh nak ditinggalkan once you dah kawan dengan dia.

Even when we went to different schools, we kept our friendship going with countless sleepovers, and gazillion phone calls. Aku saaaayang kau :)... In 2007 she transferred to my school and as fate would have it, kita sama class. Sampaaaaaaaiii sekarang. Well sekarang tak sama class lah, budak pandai mesti lah duduk pure science.

Anyways, we've had our ups and downs and the tumbling arounds. But our friendship is stronger than ever. We may not be the average couple, but then again who wants to be? We are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to interesting and fun and bitchy and more pukimak than the rest of you to be just average. We have our differences, kita BANYAAAAK differences, but that is what makes you and me so interesting kan kawan?

Even if we do end up going our separate ways, I'll never, never forget the memories that we share (even if kau tak ingat, you amnesiac bitch), like the night at DJ *hahahahhaah*, like the times kau kentut, like the time when we smoked in the toilet and spent hours trying to get the smell out, like the time when that one person nak panjat rumah, like when we gaduh masa kt sentul time bulan puasa, like Jai Ho :DDDD, like masa kita pergi tengok concert sama2, our OTH night(s), like when I was having a rough time and you stayed on the phone with me just to listen, like when I got all picky with food kat BB and we ended up walking from one end to the other in the rain....Good times, good times.

All the times you've put up with me, all the times you helped me through, I cannot thank you enough. I'm sorry if I haven't been a good friend, or if I failed to make you smile when you're down, or if I couldn't see through the fake smile you wear, or if I forgot to ask you about your day, or if I tak terbayar-bayar lagi hutang, or the times when I wasn't there to protect you from harm, or when I'm a bitch... truly I'm sorry. God knows how much I love you, and no matter what happens with us after this, I'll always love you. I promise I'll give the most kick ass speech at your wedding and beat up everyone and anyone that hurt you physically or mentally or emotionally. I'll take a bullet, push you out of harms way and kill for you(if the need requires it) in less than a heart beat. Even if we grow apart, you can always count on me to be there for you. Be it 10, 20 years in the future, I promise you, whatever you need, I'll do my best to provide.

Bestfriend, I love you and know that you can always, always count on me. You and me, we homies. We're thicker than blood and you know it. Aku sayang kau and aku akan sampai bila-bila sayang kau, ingat tu.

Nauwar @ Magnolia @ Maggy @ Sapphy bt Ahmad Shukri, this I promise you, a friendship worth a lifetime(and hopefully afterlife jugak).
Anything you need, anytime.






"Graduate, paper chase, we'll get out of this place"

Friday, June 5, 2009

I sing the blues and swallow them too,

"What am I trying to hide? Let's see the secrets that you keep"

I was gonna go 'why don't people accept help when they need it?' but decided not to, because... yours truly here does not accept help either. So me saying that to someone else would be like the pot calling the kettle black.

Anyways, back to what I wanted to say. I know that this world feels lonely sometimes. I know that sometimes it's not that you're lonely, you just want to be alone... But there are others around you who care, who wants to help. I'm the kind of person that would be up in your face until you decide to tell me whats wrong. (un?)fortunately for me, people around me aren't like that. Only when it is apparent that I'm down in the doldrums do they offer help. Though that fact really is okay with me, I sometimes wish I'm friends with someone like me.

So kawan, haven't you heard? Misery loves it's company.

I'd gladly be that company.


And to the rest of you people, Q is here. Q is always here. Tell me what you need and I'll try my best to provide. Since, what I want from all of you, well maybe just one of you, is(I believe) particularly to great of a deed to ask for.

You know; 'at least some of us are happy, and that's enough'.

Please don't go talking to me about my happiness, I'd rather not burden you with it.

"One day we'll get nostalgic for disaster"

Mamat ni punya tempo... gila babi sial.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

It's not like you to leave the stage in the middle of a song,

I found this lyric for a song, but I don't know what song it is. So if anyone knows, do tell me.

I don't think that passenger seat has ever looked this good to me. He tells me about his night as I count the colors in his eyes. He'll never fall in love, he swears as he runs his fingers through his hair. I'm laughin' cause I hope he's wrong. And I could tell you his favorite color's green. He loves to argue; born on the seventeenth. His sister's beautiful. He has his his father's eyes. And if you asked me if I love him, I'd lie. He looks around the room; innocently overlooks the truth. Shouldn't a light go on? Doesn't he know? I've had him memorized for so long. He sees everything black and white; never lets nobody see him cry. I don't let nobody see me wishin' he was mine.

And I could tell you, his favorite color's green. He loves to argue; born on the seventeenth. His sister's beautiful. He has his father's eyes. And if you asked me if I love him, I'd lie. He stands there, then walks away. My God, if I could only say, I'm holding every breath for you. He'd never tell you, but he can play guitar. I think he can see through everything but my heart. First thought when I wake up is my God, he's beautiful. So I put on my make-up and pray for a miracle. And I could tell you, his favorite color's green. He loves to argue, oh, and it kills me. His sister's beautiful. He has his father's eyes. And if you asked me if I love him - if you asked me if I love him, I'd lie.

Maaf dia punya placing tak lawa, I just copy-pasted it.

Let's see the secrets that you keep.

"Sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills"

Let me tell you what I did today, Fatriff ajak us all dinner at Idaman,all showed up except the boy, who has to go jamming(he's performing this saturday) and Sloppy DS, who has exams soon(good luck dude!). Thanks Fatriff, belanja kita semua.

(: Met Jasmine, the ex of SmallFeet. Very, very cun.

We, being OrangeJuice, SmallFeet and I wanted to catch a movie... but them other boys, Fatriff, flutterby and WanWan (maaf tiada idea untuk soubriquet yang baik), wanted to go jamming. So in the end we went to watch them jam. But then we got tired watching so we(the ones that wanted to watch a movie) went Uptown and minum. There, the boy came. I left with the boy to the usual mamak. Lepas segelas air, OrangeJuice sent me home. Terima kasih mamat berbaju hawaii. :D

Anyways, a week or so ago flutterby talked to me about 'the thing'... No, not the one from marvel comic's Fantastic Four, 'the thing' he was referring to was that one special thing or person everyone has that assures their happiness. Like the boy has Maggy and vice versa, like my dad has politics, like DeeDee has Juju, like Rynna has Fave Niece One, like... you get the picture. I'd like to honestly say that mine is music, but really it isn't. Flutterby thinks(well, i think he thinks) that I got mine, but I blew it. He thinks mine was Boy One... but I don't think so. Maggy thinks it's a good thing that I don't depend on one thing to make me happy, but I think otherwise. I believe that having a person or just something that assures your happiness, is just divine. I mean, I.. we (flutterby and I) are always in search for something that can make us truly happy, compare that search to knowing what makes you happy and actually getting it is so much better don't you think? I want to say that it doesn't matter that I haven't found the source of my eternal happiness, but really I do. You see, I don't think I've ever been truly, TRULY happy and that in itself is just..... sad. But I also don't want to spend my lifetime searching for something that I don't know for sure is there for me. Sometimes I feel like I'm being punished for my sins, but I read a line somewhere once that says 'you aren't being punished, you just haven't been rewarded yet', I hope that's true. Because I'd llike to think that there is something, somewhere out there that holds the key to my eternal happiness, my 'thing', my one and only.

I have faith, I think you should too flutterby.

*smiles* Remember dude, it rains hardest on those who need sunshine most. And besides, should anything go wrong in your life,all of your lives, I'll have your back... anytime.

much love,


"Don't tell us how it ends because we're the ones who wrote the end"

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

apocalypse please?

"Let me feel, I don't care if I break down"

Promises. So easy to make, yet so difficult to keep.

You see, there are SO MANY people out there I know and I know of that make promises with absolutely no intention of keeping them. There are a few types of people that make fake promises:

-Some make promises just so that they can get whatever it is that they want right at that moment.

-Some make promises to get away from something.

-Some make promises so that they can make it through whatever it is that they have to go through.

-Some make promises just to hurt others when they don't fulfill their promises.

People are idiots. And tonight, there were some in my presence. Idiots. -,-

I know Q merapu. Biar.

So tadi them boys futsal, without Maggy's brother, from 12 till like 2. We went to makan then went home. Now I'm online. Gila tak ada life kan? -,- Saya macam tu lah. Nak buat macam mana.

Some stuff happened, will not talk about here or to anyone else pun in that case, except bestfriend. Takde benda pun 'stuff' tu, saja nak buat macam ber-drama. Heh.

Anyways, two person hooked up in the last week. I'll leave you guys with pictures... if you care to, do guess (or not, this is an easy one):



Purposely chose the unclear pictures. Tiada mood lah. Night fuckers.

PS: budak skate will now be known as SmallFeet (he chose this nick, go figure)

"Say goodbye to the hearts you broke, and the cyanide you drank"

Can't we pretend we're in love, just for tonight?

"you are the dreamer and we are the dream"

Currently on the phone with Maggy, potong line orang nk blog... -,- Now the boy ajak pegi massage... hahaha.. x) But not going, I want to blog.

Anyways, let me continue where I left off. Sunday night, went to eat or lepak or something like that, then went to the padang in front of the boy's house and enjoyed the night; watching the cats chase each other and listening to flutterby sing. And then the boy came, tido kejap kt padang (that boy can sleep ANYWHERE I tell you), and left for futsal. It was an interesting game to watch. x) Flutterby terbaik, did a pinball action with fatriff's head. HAHAHA. After futsal, we went home.

Monday was DeeDee's convo. Congrats youuuuuuuuu!!! you know I love you sister. Finally got her degree, she's now considering a second degree... so good luck with that. After the convo, chilled at home with my fam then went out to makan at Idaman with flutterby and the boy. Lepas makan pegi rumah Maggy, ingat nak ajak kuar, but she cannot. So we went OU nak catch a movie but there was nothing worth watching. So them boys went foos while I watched. Then it was home.

Yesterday the boy woke me up, picked me and flutterby up then went to lunch at McD. Then pegi amik Maggy, lepak at the mamak, then sent her home because the boy has to go jamming. Me and flutterby tagged along to the studio. I got pictureeeeeeessss!




HAHA! I malas nk rotate, so korg tgk je lah senget-senget okay?

Anyways, later we(me, flutterby, the boy, OrangeJuice, and budak skate) went to eat at Uptown. Then we went home. :) I love you boys.

Today, the boy woke me up again. -,-........ After he's done seeing Maggy, he came to pick me up and we went to makan. Then he sent me home. Now the boy is out somewhere getting a massage and I'm home waiting for someone to ask me out. Later they're futsal-ing, hopefully with Maggy's brother, gosh i miss you budak. So I'm seeing them boys and Maggy later, very much looking forward to that.


maaf post x berapa cantik, budak skate is on the way to pick me up. We're dinnering, wheeee.

Oh hm, I'll leave you guys with this:


comel kan?(maaf camera x berkualiti)

"I could write it better than you ever felt it"