Thursday, February 3, 2011


"Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul?"

I live for nights like these. Yes, the great company, the lovely night and the wonderful reminder that I have friends around me all the time for better or for worse. But what’s best about nights like these are the conversations. The conversations you have once the rumpus quiets down and the only ones left are the ones that you hold dearest to your heart. Tonight was no exception.

I love having these kinds of conversations, the kind that you share with close friends, and the kind that makes you feel, for once, time doesn’t envy you as it always does. Conversations that silences the bedlam that goes around and boggles with your mind at every waking moment, threatening to spiral you down into emotional madness.

Tonight, for a few hours, time stopped. And we made full use of it. These conversations filled with spoken words of our inner thoughts, thoughts we never knew we had, feelings we never knew existed. Epiphanies hitting you hard like ice cold showers in the mornings. I love you, but I love this friendship more. I’m glad we told each other what we both needed to know, I’m glad we voiced what we needed to say; about those girls and about those guys. I like stories; I love your stories even more. I’m glad we stuck it out, all of us. Despite everything that’s been said and done. You, yes you, your time will come… And that happiness will be ours. I love your lengthy explanations, defensiveness when it comes to emotions. I love your vulnerability when it’s just you and me. One day, you’ll stop caring about those things and when that day arrives all of us will be here to cheer you on, to help you find that peace you need within yourself.

There is no more need for words now because we know it’s all up to you now. We love you and we want what’s best for you, I especially want only to see you fully happy and satisfied with life as you should be. You’ve always been the lucky one, so please, keep going forwards honey, we’ll be running side by side with you, cheering you on like we’ve always done.

I love you, and I know you love me. I’d give everything to you if I could I know all of us would. You just need to figure everything out, like you promised you would. We’ll wait for you, I’ll wait for you (hey, a promise is a promise right? J ) and we’ll see how things go from there okay? Eight souls waiting to push you back up; should you fall of the track, to pray for your best and do all that we can to help you. You remember your promise to me don’t you? I love you, I always have and I always will regardless of however you choose to lead your life, who you choose to be with, how you decide to live it. Just remember, you have a strong support system behind your back. Stop thinking, stop caring about everything too much, and I’m sure you we’ll be fine.

I love you and I’m here for you as I’ve always been just like the rest of us. I promise you, that happiness; it’s ours. You will always, ALWAYS have a friend in me.

With much love; forever yours,


"I have habits that I can't shake and if you try to take that from me then I'll never be the same trainwreck that I am"

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

January, we're in love.

"I felt at home, I felt alive, I felt that I fit in.. So I'll just keep dreaming"

It’s been a while since I actually posted anything on Dear Gravity. I guess a long update and an apology would be apropos but such isn’t my style. Although it would be awkward to just jump into a story, so let’s start with something light like the weather.

How’s the weather like where you’re from? Here in Kedah the weather’s been unpredictable. One day it would be unbelievably cold and showering on one of those days would be a very bad idea and then the next day it would be scorching hot that you’d start to wonder if you’d ever survive in hell when you die. Anyhow, it’s been quite dramatic over here in UiTM where some things suck and everything is lesser than it’s expected to be. Tests didn’t go as well as I expected them to and every morning I am annoyingly reminded that I am another day closer to my final exams in March.

Now that that’s done with, let me tell you a story.

Once there was a boy, whose ambition was to be of help to people of the world and make lots and lots of money. As he grew older, he realized that getting into politics would be a good way to help people in need so when he was offered to do law in a local university, he didn’t have to think twice and took the first step into realizing his dreams to be a politician. About halfway through studying law foundation, he realized that there was an inner dilemma between his passion (English) and his dreams (politics). So he contemplated and thought a lot about it… After what seemed like a long time of thinking and brain work, he came to the conclusion that he doesn’t really know what he wants to do in life. He doesn’t really know what he’s good at; he’d like to think that writing is his forte and that he should major in English but in today’s world, having a degree in English really means squat. On the other hand, he doesn’t know if he really wants to continue doing law because after everything he’s witnessed, he’s starting to think like he’s not cut out to play with the big boys in the cruel, dirty game that is the politics. So now he’s back to square one, completely clueless on what to do with his life. Questions like ‘What are you good at?’ and ‘What don’t you mind doing for the rest of your life?’ comes to mind when he starts thinking of the right educational path he should take. His dad tells him that it doesn’t matter what he wants to do, if he wants to help people, he can do it any way he can without ever having to go into the foul world of politics… So what should he do then? If he doesn’t do politics? Not knowing what his talents are also adds to the pressure of choosing the right path.

So, if you know him, could you please let him know what you think? And if you think you know him well enough… how about his talents? Anything he should know?

"So what is it gonna be? Are you real to me? Or are you non-dairy creamer?"