Saturday, November 7, 2009

Bite back.

"Then maybe it works when I leave, you fake what you say you love"

It's a revelation really, it dawned on me, smacked me in the face if you will, that there's nothing. Nope, nothing left. I know what's right to do, but it isn't right to do it now... I mean, now being the end of high school and all. Even if, when you actually think about it, what's right to do, doesn't necessarily need to be done. It'll happen in due time, you know, 'go with the flow'. But really, back to the topic, I felt nothing. I keep wondering if you notice it too, or if it's just me. Because if it is, than I am such a shitty person.

Given the situation that I'm in, I shall not take the direction my instinct is pointing me to. At least not anytime in the near future. But I'm pretty sure it's about to happen. I haven't talked to anyone about this, maybe it has something to do with me not knowing who to talk to? I can't talk to you about this, it will hurt us. But I need to let this out, so, you come home quick, I need you to listen. Between this, leaving school and everything else on my plate... My head's been pretty occupied.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, really, don't even bother because you my dear friend, might find out soon enough. Well, at least when it does happen.

PS: If it does happen, please know that I've never loved you any less than you've loved me. Really, even if it's come to that.

"Take a little more than what I've got, it's all I have to please you"

Monday, November 2, 2009

If you're a dream then come true.

"Wrap your arms around me 'till your knuckles are burning white"

Today I shall quote Alexi Wasser. Her blog is the shizz. --> IMBOYCRAZY.COM

"It was friendly, quick, silly, and only slightly awkward. I don’t want anything from him. I don’t need anything from him- so it wasn’t filled with painful longing or remorse for what was- it was more a sneak peak, or evidence that he could be/might be a best friend. I have so much love for him. And yet- and he feels the same way- not being together was/is a good decision. After he left, with no kissing or anything-just hugs that he wasn’t really comfortable with me giving him-......"

I miss you, so much. I dare not imagine how it would be like when I no longer see you on a day to day basis. As immature and stupid I feel when I say this, clearly I love you. So much more than I care to wonder why. I wish you knew, I wish you care enough to find out. I don't want you anymore, at least not in that way. I just want you to be a part of my life... the way things were supposed to be. I'm so glad I met you love.

"Use me as you will, pull my strings just as a thrill. And I know I'll be okay though my skies are turning gray"