Friday, June 17, 2011

[June 15th, 2011]

I guess you never really get over several things. I am not here to waste your time reading by posting one of my sappy, disgusting love infested declaration but disguised as a poorly typed blog post… I’m actually here to write about what I’m sure a few thousand teens who took the MUET test in April have posted, will post or is posting. I didn’t do badly, if that was what you were thinking… But my result did have me thinking; maybe I suck. I am not gonna lie, being mediocre in what I’m supposed to be really good at was quite a blow down there, not that I have a dick but if my ego and confidence had a big, fat dick, I guess this would be what I feels like. I cried several times these past two days, I can’t even believe myself. I am crying over an exam! And maybe it is too early to say that I might never get over the fact that some of my marks were…… to say the least, astonishingly bad, I still think I might never actually fully get over this. Syam keeps telling me to calm down and that I should take a few things in consideration like the mood of my examiner at the moment he/she is marking my paper, the factor that maybe I got too excited and wrote a little too enthusiastically for the examiners’ liking, maybe my paper got switched by mistake and a few more logical reasons… but I somehow couldn’t find it in me to calm down. I told Syam first, then called my Dad and then called Akmal who was, by coincidence, with Syam. Well, if I am really honest… I really did hope Akmal was with Syam… Because that makes venting much, much easier. I cried the whole phone call and made myself sound like such an ungrateful bitch. And thanks to those boys, Syam especially, I felt and am feeling a lot better. So thank you. And then there’s a bunch of other things. But that’s not for today. Updates from Merbok would be… I’ve been busy, buried under homework and assignment, haven’t had time to even go home, going home in two days because I HAVE to, it’s the hottest semester so far (weather-wise) and thanks to the new director, we have a new set of annoying rules I can care less for. Back to my work then, until next time then (whenever that is), I guess, you never really get over several things.