Thursday, May 28, 2009

Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.

"sick cycle carousel, this is a sick cycle yeah"

Q no longer demand for her rights...
because she feels sorry for herself and that person she shall not mention. (more for myself really). Anyways, me and person were talking, I was saying something along the lines of 'as long as everyone is happy..' when person said "YOU HAPPY KE Q?", sumpah you caught me off guard. Wanted to cry, thank you for not pursuing the topic of my happiness (people don't touch the topic of my happiness, it's off limits) besides, flutterby call nak ajak lepak. So basically flutterby saved me from crying in front of person.

So we talked and I didn't smoke because person only had one cigarette... thanks ah. I really needed to smoke so we went to the usual mamak... tengok2 bila park kereta sambung lagi sikit that conversation. Sumpah you sengaja nak buat I menangis en? The most fucked up part was when person said "Look at me Q." OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH FUCK. I swear to god, I wanted to just burst out in tears that instant. Dah tau I memang emotionally fragile right now because of mother. *sighs*

Anyway, in the middle of me yapping away, sadness nearly gone and anger taking its place, flutterby came and knocked on the window (thanks flutterby, i betul tak nak menangis today). Apparently, they(budak skate and flutterby) saw person's car and wondered what was taking us so long. Flutterby gave me a not so from-the-heart hug... because kita kat tengah jalan kan Flutterby? And then lepak like nothing happened, until i wanted to leave. Ah fuck.

Hugged person before I left because person was staying, sumpah I've never hugged you like that before. When you whispered 'sorry' memang la nak menangis lagiiiii. nasib baik i balik. At home, online.

Maggy aka Bestfriend still doesn't know yet. I need to talk to you, but I am so fucking drained. Ya Allah.

On a much, much brighter note... stitchboy asked me out on a date. I said yes, because he was so like, cannot say 'no' to. And because he was being really, really nice... Thanks for being my sunshine last night stitchboy, really appreciate it.

Other than that, we're performing Jai Ho tomorrow!!! Terbaik en?! We are so fucking cool I tell you! Will post the video once I get my hands on it.

:D If you're wondering about mother, don't. Not worth your time. Even if she's why I'm so fucking shit ass now.

Oh, here're some random quotes: - Sadness flies away on the wings of time; Jean de La Fontaine -For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'; John Greenleaf Whittier -Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be;Fannie Brice

Before, I leave, dude, I sayang you, WE sayang you. Don't be so selfish can or not? If you leave, empty or not, we kurang sorang and will never be complete. Tell me what to do and I'll do it. Just jangan bagi I a sip of vintage wine and then take the bottle away. Sumpah fuck up.

"when you wake up the world will come around"

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