Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Where you gonna go?

"Where do you go to escape from yourself?"

I'm feeling truly, truly inspired tonight. In all aspects of the word. Inspired to do what exactly you ask? I haven't the faintest idea. But I love this feeling, the inspiration flowing in my veins, running through all the blood that flows deep in the beats of my heart. Late night fags always, always give me this sensation, it's like getting high only better, clearer.

In a few months, I'll be leaving school, leaving this childhood life I had come to know and love. People always tell me, life don't really change after you leave school, it only expands. But, I only hope that my life makes a full turn and changes in the best possible meaning of the word (I shall also hope to dear god that it expands). I have visions of the future, hopes of how I would lead my life, I will finally be in control of my own little world... and that prospect excites me to the extent that I cannot describe in mere words. That been said, I will not be leaving this life behind without shedding a few tears, this is my safe zone, where nothing can go wrong, where my only real concerns are scoring my exams and what to wear for my next outing with my girlfriends or how am I to find the resources to buy that really cute hoodie from Zara. ;) I realize the risks, responsibilities and commitments that only comes with my (soon to be) new found freedom, which I can only say (in the fashion that only youths can get away with) scared shitless.

I anticipate the real world with my hands wide open and hope that I have prepared myself enough to endure the tests and challenges that God and life has in store for me. I will in one way or another, check out of this long journey of life as a succesful human being. Succesful in being a true human being; a lover of life who sees the obstacles ahead of me as a learning process and not as reasons to throw in the towel. When I am matured and seasoned enough to call myself an adult, I pray that I will not be among the likes of the generic corporate success with absolutely no heart and/or soul that goes through life like a routine in a recurring nightmare.

But for now, I will enjoy and embrace my youth, my inner childhood that I pray will not dissipate as I grow older. I will savour every minute of every day while I'm still forced to wake up at 6 in the morning and don the traditional white baju kurung and turqoise skirt that I have been wearing for the past 4 years and 8 months because I know that once the uniform I once dreaded to wear is off, there will be no turning back. The real world awaits me, awaits us out there, the jungle full of despair, hope and opportunities... and it is up to us to make the best of it.

To all my fellow youths, I raise my glass and wish all the best wishes for you in stepping out of your safe zone and making the best choices in life.

Before the time comes, take it slow, what's the rush? :)

"Don't say it's easy, the hardest part is leaving. Don't you wonder why? Suddenly we're all running out of time"

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