The weather today resonates my state of mind as of late.

Foggy.

It is so hard living in fear that you are not enough.
Especially when your days are constant reminders of how inadequate you are.
I dont need much but I want everything.
I want everything for everyone but none for myself.
I want to be everything for everyone.

I want to please. I want to be enough.

But I am flawed.
I am never going to be enough. Not for myself, not for anyone.

Sometimes.

Some nights I just want to go to sleep forever.
Dying seems easy until you realise it is not the end.

I just want it to end. Sometimes.

5PM, Chatty friends.

It is okay if you want to conform to what the society sees as the 'right' way of living.
Even if there is no clear right or wrong way to live.
You just live.
But don't condemn me for choosing to live my life how I want to live it.
I don't do it to you, I expect the same courtesy in return.

P.S. you incessantly complain about your hate for bandwagonners, but you are one of them. Be who you want to be, not who society expects you to be.

Running With Scissors.

"I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn't deserve it. Because they are all you have. Because any attention is better than no attention. For exactly the same reason, it us sometimes satisfying to cut yourself and bleed. On those gray days where eight in the morning looks no different from noon and nothing has happened and nothing is going to happen and you are washing a glass in the sink and it breaks -accidentally- and punctures your skin. And then there is this shocking red, the brightest thing in the day, so vibrant it buzzes, this blood of yours. That is okay sometimes because at least you know you're alive."

PS: Don't ever settle for someone less than you deserve.

Sweet child o' mine.

I had a dream about mother last night. I was so angry. I woke up crying.

I always wake up crying in anger when I dream about her.

Biggest lesson I learned from her: never have kids.

I will make for a shit parent.

Q.

This was how I spent Saturday. It was a lovely day.