Loves.

"Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul?"

I live for nights like these. Yes, the great company, the lovely night and the wonderful reminder that I have friends around me all the time for better or for worse. But what’s best about nights like these are the conversations. The conversations you have once the rumpus quiets down and the only ones left are the ones that you hold dearest to your heart. Tonight was no exception.

I love having these kinds of conversations, the kind that you share with close friends, and the kind that makes you feel, for once, time doesn’t envy you as it always does. Conversations that silences the bedlam that goes around and boggles with your mind at every waking moment, threatening to spiral you down into emotional madness.

Tonight, for a few hours, time stopped. And we made full use of it. These conversations filled with spoken words of our inner thoughts, thoughts we never knew we had, feelings we never knew existed. Epiphanies hitting you hard like ice cold showers in the mornings. I love you, but I love this friendship more. I’m glad we told each other what we both needed to know, I’m glad we voiced what we needed to say; about those girls and about those guys. I like stories; I love your stories even more. I’m glad we stuck it out, all of us. Despite everything that’s been said and done. You, yes you, your time will come… And that happiness will be ours. I love your lengthy explanations, defensiveness when it comes to emotions. I love your vulnerability when it’s just you and me. One day, you’ll stop caring about those things and when that day arrives all of us will be here to cheer you on, to help you find that peace you need within yourself.

There is no more need for words now because we know it’s all up to you now. We love you and we want what’s best for you, I especially want only to see you fully happy and satisfied with life as you should be. You’ve always been the lucky one, so please, keep going forwards honey, we’ll be running side by side with you, cheering you on like we’ve always done.

I love you, and I know you love me. I’d give everything to you if I could I know all of us would. You just need to figure everything out, like you promised you would. We’ll wait for you, I’ll wait for you (hey, a promise is a promise right? J ) and we’ll see how things go from there okay? Eight souls waiting to push you back up; should you fall of the track, to pray for your best and do all that we can to help you. You remember your promise to me don’t you? I love you, I always have and I always will regardless of however you choose to lead your life, who you choose to be with, how you decide to live it. Just remember, you have a strong support system behind your back. Stop thinking, stop caring about everything too much, and I’m sure you we’ll be fine.

I love you and I’m here for you as I’ve always been just like the rest of us. I promise you, that happiness; it’s ours. You will always, ALWAYS have a friend in me.

With much love; forever yours,

Q.

"I have habits that I can't shake and if you try to take that from me then I'll never be the same trainwreck that I am"

January, we're in love.

"I felt at home, I felt alive, I felt that I fit in.. So I'll just keep dreaming"

It’s been a while since I actually posted anything on Dear Gravity. I guess a long update and an apology would be apropos but such isn’t my style. Although it would be awkward to just jump into a story, so let’s start with something light like the weather.

How’s the weather like where you’re from? Here in Kedah the weather’s been unpredictable. One day it would be unbelievably cold and showering on one of those days would be a very bad idea and then the next day it would be scorching hot that you’d start to wonder if you’d ever survive in hell when you die. Anyhow, it’s been quite dramatic over here in UiTM where some things suck and everything is lesser than it’s expected to be. Tests didn’t go as well as I expected them to and every morning I am annoyingly reminded that I am another day closer to my final exams in March.

Now that that’s done with, let me tell you a story.

Once there was a boy, whose ambition was to be of help to people of the world and make lots and lots of money. As he grew older, he realized that getting into politics would be a good way to help people in need so when he was offered to do law in a local university, he didn’t have to think twice and took the first step into realizing his dreams to be a politician. About halfway through studying law foundation, he realized that there was an inner dilemma between his passion (English) and his dreams (politics). So he contemplated and thought a lot about it… After what seemed like a long time of thinking and brain work, he came to the conclusion that he doesn’t really know what he wants to do in life. He doesn’t really know what he’s good at; he’d like to think that writing is his forte and that he should major in English but in today’s world, having a degree in English really means squat. On the other hand, he doesn’t know if he really wants to continue doing law because after everything he’s witnessed, he’s starting to think like he’s not cut out to play with the big boys in the cruel, dirty game that is the politics. So now he’s back to square one, completely clueless on what to do with his life. Questions like ‘What are you good at?’ and ‘What don’t you mind doing for the rest of your life?’ comes to mind when he starts thinking of the right educational path he should take. His dad tells him that it doesn’t matter what he wants to do, if he wants to help people, he can do it any way he can without ever having to go into the foul world of politics… So what should he do then? If he doesn’t do politics? Not knowing what his talents are also adds to the pressure of choosing the right path.

So, if you know him, could you please let him know what you think? And if you think you know him well enough… how about his talents? Anything he should know?

"So what is it gonna be? Are you real to me? Or are you non-dairy creamer?"

"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die"

"A memory is what is left when something happens and doesn't completely unhappen -Edward de Bono" I cannot wait to leave my mark on this world someday. I will make something of myself. Watch me non-believers.

But the time is right and it only flies

"To my favourite liar, to my favourite scar. Let's play this game called 'when you catch fire', I wouldn't piss to put you out."

I have a lot to say so I promise to make it all as brief as possible.

Firstly, Maisarah Khairi, aku sangat terharu post kau ada nama aku, sayang kau jugak la (: And if I'm being honest, rindu sebenarnya kat Merbok and PL 1E. Tapi perasaan nak pergi balik tu currently tak ada because I am deathly afraid of the finals sampai tak lena nak tidur. I was trying to study MTC 012 this morning, and maaaaaaaaan that was painful. I literally wanted to scream. Don't get me wrong, I love law, but we haven't had a long holiday like this sampai my brain just refuses to digest anything related to my subjects.

Secondly, my holidays' been great so far except for that bitch who keeps popping into my life like nobody's beeswax. Like my god, please just stop making life so difficult for us. Do you know how much effort it takes for me to not be rude to you? You're lucky I dah banyak buat dosa, tak teringin aku nak add 'anak derhaka' to my list of sins.

Also, I saw some of the bestfriends for buka yesterday, too b ad some people couldn't make it. Buka at The Gardens, ate some more at A&W, they tapau-ed waffles from Waffle World (a&w ran out of waffles -.-) then some of us went off to mamak to pass the time. Oh, juga met Amir and Razlan for sahur. Sumpah, I rindu rindu rindu gila kat Razlan. Imagine, dah lama sangat tak jumpa dia... We got lost looking for his place. HAHA. Then today, after some drama rama, went to Haris's (calling him Haris here so that no one gets him confused w Honeyboo), then culik dia and went off to Rasta for supper. I had a nice time. Love you all (:

Next on my agenda, Rakan Rakan Setiawangsa. Y'all have some thing I want (Yes, I'm talking about YOU Syam) Woot Woot. >:D and I also need to spend more time with Sayang. I'm home and yet I've only seen you like berapa kali je kan Yang? Miss you lots Honeyboo.

Since gambar cuti belum boleh dicuri because macam biasa la Inaz and Amar lambat upload, I'm leaving with random photos of Merbok (:

/

Last, but definitely not least. Us. Mimi (in her tudung for the Ramadhan month (: ), Q and E. Sayang korang (:

P.S. : Huge thanks to Ira for driving everyone home the past couple of days.

P.P.S. : I love you banyak banyak HoneyBoo.

"Save what you got, keep it safe don't ever stop. It's nothing more, it's nothing less, it's all we got, it's happiness"

Just because.

“I won’t worry my life away. You can turn off the sun, but I’m still gonna shine”

So did I tell you guys I rode in an ambulance at 1130 at night to go to the hospital while I was at college? Yeah, it was by far one of the coolest (and most torturous) experiences that I have ever had to go through since I started studying here. I wouldn’t want to bore you (or possibly disgust you) with the tale of why the emergency hotline was called on my behalf that night. But rest assured; I am now on my way back to full recovery. Although, I do need to say this, the painkillers I was prescribed that night, don’t help. Like, seriously… I’ve gotten stronger medications before, and let me say this, eating those pills are just like popping disgusting tasting, powdery candy compared to the pills I’ve had to take before.

Moving on, have I introduced you guys to Mimi, E and Cekodok? (yes, cekodok is the orange cat, held lovingly by the seemingly sane; Mimi) This couple of people is so awesome, I can’t think of a more awesomer word than ‘awesome’ to describe the awesomeness that they are. Mimi’s the really weird, awkward, totally recluse but crazy cool and outgoing once you get to know her type of girl whilst E is just really loud, and sort of rude, but is completely adorable (plus she has the most obnoxiously cute laugh in the world, it is SO cute) and likeable you just can’t help but cuddle up and make weird noises with her like wo’ wo’ wo’ or shouuu’! (x I think combining the three of us together is so lethal because when we’re in the mood, it can take some time to adjust to how we are, but it’s all good.. We have fun :D

It’s almost the end of the semester and after all the getting used to, it has come to my realization that I actually enjoy being here. I mean; the comfort you find here in the people and the place itself is just beyond what I have ever had the opportunity to experience before. I literally have shed blood, gallons of sweat and plenty of tears here that it would tug on my heartstrings to leave this place next year. Anyhow, this last couple of weeks before the raya holidays has been keeping me busy, so busy that I had this entry typed out on Microsoft word so that when I am free enough I can just copy paste it onto my blogger. We (that is to say, the part one pre-lawrians) are so effing busy with all the bel tests, the csc’s final project (which I haven’t started on!) that incidentally carries 20% of my overall marks and has to be presented and sent by next Thursday and both the 012 and 016 law subjects that I feel like it’s about time my brain and my body gave up… But here I am, still standing, holding my “Law, Morality, Justice, Freedom and Equality” book. Hahah.

For the best friends who are wondering, YES, we’re both fine. After all we’ve been through to get to where we are; it isn’t going to be as easy as that to go back one step. But, I still love you guys for everything y’all did that week to cheer me up. Thanks Dian honey and Aiman… I’ll love both of you forever. (: And of course you Sayang, love you la dude ;D

“Yes there’s love if you want it, don’t sound like no sonnet, my lord”

I'm a little drunk, and I need you now

"Drinking 'cause you're looking so good in your Starbucks cup"



Ahoy there matey. (: I haven't been on blogger since forever. Last I wrote here was when I just got to Kedah but now I'm in the middle of my mid sem break and it has been wonderful so far. *grins* But before I update on anything, I just gotta say one thing.. For those haters out there, yeah, you guys, who are sitting there still pathetically reading my blog denying the fact that you are oh-so-obsessed with me please just either shut the fuck up (because if you keep posting hate comments on my blog it just proves that I'm right, that you ARE obsessed with me) OR have the decency to not comment as 'anonymous'; because at least that would mean you still have some form of pride in you. Oh and please, use proper english please... I don't understand idiot language. Thank you very much. (Although, the blog was commented about a month ago so I might already be friends w the 'used to be' haters by now)



Anyhoo, Kedah's actually not that bad if you overlook the fact that it can get really hot there. It also helps that I have good friends I can count on around, but the place itself pun memang isn't that bad. Studying law isn't as easy as people say it was gonna be, like seriously, the things I have to learn are so bloody hard and disturbingly new to me that I cannot even fathom how people manage to memorise these things and practice them, enough to make a living out of it. Assignments for the mid sem break are a pain in the ass, but I think I'll manage to balance between my studies and seeing my lovelies.



Saw the bestfriend for lunch, dinner and also some lovely Wondermilking hari tu. I mean, who can resist free cupcakes and weird drinks that you can only get at Wondermilk right? THANKS AUNTY JAJA! :D We were supposed to be studying economics and law but instead we ended up yapping away, it didn't help that Aunty Jaja served us yummy cookies while we were happily talking about colouring and stuff. Tee heee~



Also saw some of my favourite boys last night.. Didn't expect the night to turn out the way it did though it was still fucking fantastic. Damn I ♥ those boys. Didn't know you guys felt that way about that certain girl, couldn't believe you've been through that much pain, didn't realise how fucking loaded that certain boy is, don't really wanna know about that boy's preferences and stuff. Too bad Man couldn't be there 'cause, boo hoo, he's stuck in Segamat studying. Thanks for coming all the way here guys, and thanks for that great night. For the record, I did miss you Syam.. Just didn't wanna tell you :P Hahahahah.



Spent my day trying to finish my assignments to no avail.. Dah la I left some of my homework in Kedah, so that was smart of me. -.- Lunching with Creeper toms. Untill then. Toodles.



x

(credits to Aunty Jaja (: )

"My beating heart belongs to you, I walked for miles 'till I found you"

UITM di hati ku.

Woke up at one today realising that I have absolutely nothing to do. Done all my CSC homework, gone through the first chapter of Federal Constitution, and had all my clothes washed, dried and ironed. It has been difficult getting used to the fact that my weeks all start on Sunday and that I am now in a jungle in the middle of a city in fucking Sungai Petani, Merbok, Kedah. I'm not gonna lie, the view here is exceptionally breathtaking and the mornings here are fucking spectacular. But the nights here are still, quiet and dead. I have only been here for about 6 days and already I find myself bored out of my fucking mind. I will never in my life take PJ for granted ever again. I wanna kiss the walls and floors of OU once I get home (hopefully next week).

Here, the search for KL/Selangor people has been very, very difficult. But I managed to find a few that I can actually sit down and have an actual conversation with. There's Puteri, E for short, who comes from Ampang. There's Mimi from Cheras and Man from Bangi. People here don't really like us because we, well, actually I don't know why they don't like us.. But whatever la, aku datang sini nak belajar.

Anyhoo, they have starbucks here in Kedah, which is a definite plus. And eventhough the KL people are rare, they are here and we do have fun, sort of. I have been terribly homesick, undeniably crying in the semi-darkness when my roomie is asleep. I can't believe I missed Aiman's birthday thingy, I can't believe I wasn't there when Dian found out she got the scholarship, I can't believe I'm not there for the world cup with sayang and most importantly Ic can't believe I am not there to savour the two weeks yang my parents tak ada. FUCK. But like everyone keeps saying to me, and me to myself, everything happens for a reason and I will damn well make it through this year and a half alive and get my awesome CGPA and go on to become a succesful, rich person.

But, before I become that succesful person.. God please la help me get through this. MY HEART IS HOMESICK FOR YOU AIMAN DANIAL D': YOU OWE ME A LONG HUGGGGGGG and a wet, wet, WET kiss. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. I love you, wait for me okay? You better behave yourself baby. I sayang you. (: BTW, memang tak lah UITM di hati ku. -.-