Loves.

"Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul?"

I live for nights like these. Yes, the great company, the lovely night and the wonderful reminder that I have friends around me all the time for better or for worse. But what’s best about nights like these are the conversations. The conversations you have once the rumpus quiets down and the only ones left are the ones that you hold dearest to your heart. Tonight was no exception.

I love having these kinds of conversations, the kind that you share with close friends, and the kind that makes you feel, for once, time doesn’t envy you as it always does. Conversations that silences the bedlam that goes around and boggles with your mind at every waking moment, threatening to spiral you down into emotional madness.

Tonight, for a few hours, time stopped. And we made full use of it. These conversations filled with spoken words of our inner thoughts, thoughts we never knew we had, feelings we never knew existed. Epiphanies hitting you hard like ice cold showers in the mornings. I love you, but I love this friendship more. I’m glad we told each other what we both needed to know, I’m glad we voiced what we needed to say; about those girls and about those guys. I like stories; I love your stories even more. I’m glad we stuck it out, all of us. Despite everything that’s been said and done. You, yes you, your time will come… And that happiness will be ours. I love your lengthy explanations, defensiveness when it comes to emotions. I love your vulnerability when it’s just you and me. One day, you’ll stop caring about those things and when that day arrives all of us will be here to cheer you on, to help you find that peace you need within yourself.

There is no more need for words now because we know it’s all up to you now. We love you and we want what’s best for you, I especially want only to see you fully happy and satisfied with life as you should be. You’ve always been the lucky one, so please, keep going forwards honey, we’ll be running side by side with you, cheering you on like we’ve always done.

I love you, and I know you love me. I’d give everything to you if I could I know all of us would. You just need to figure everything out, like you promised you would. We’ll wait for you, I’ll wait for you (hey, a promise is a promise right? J ) and we’ll see how things go from there okay? Eight souls waiting to push you back up; should you fall of the track, to pray for your best and do all that we can to help you. You remember your promise to me don’t you? I love you, I always have and I always will regardless of however you choose to lead your life, who you choose to be with, how you decide to live it. Just remember, you have a strong support system behind your back. Stop thinking, stop caring about everything too much, and I’m sure you we’ll be fine.

I love you and I’m here for you as I’ve always been just like the rest of us. I promise you, that happiness; it’s ours. You will always, ALWAYS have a friend in me.

With much love; forever yours,

Q.

"I have habits that I can't shake and if you try to take that from me then I'll never be the same trainwreck that I am"