12.38 after midnight, Tuesday; November 18th 2014.

So (before my time's up) I was thinking of posting an entry here that's kind of like a nod to Édouard Levé. Writing an endless stream of thoughts, literally anything that comes to mind. It may come out as a mindless rant.. Pretty confident it'll come out as a mindless rant but that won't stop me from doing it.

Why am I writing about writing it instead? It's late and I'm physically ill so I am posting this as a reminder to myself and so I can pressure myself into following through with this idea soon(-ish).

After all, a story isnt a story if it stays in your head; that's just imagination.

Text to friends with broken legs.

I exist in the in betweens of awake and asleep
In the sound of children's laughters
In a parent's tears of joy
In the blowing breeze of a spring morning.
I exist in the dead of night.
I dwell in your broken dreams.
In all your sadness and regret.
I am with you every moment of every day.
Watching. Waiting. Happy or sad. For better or worse.
I am your sickness and your cure.
I am your mind.
Consuming you alive.

Suicide, Edouard Levé.

"Your life was less sad than your suicide might suggest. You were said to have died of suffering. But there was not as much sadness in you as there is now in those who remember you. You died because you searched for happiness at the risk of finding the void. We shall have to wait for death before we can know what it is that you found. Or before leaving off knowing anything at all, if it is to be silence and emptiness that awaits us."

"You better be alive when I come back from Raya." - a close friend who shall remain unnamed.

I am actually going to be with my family for Eid this year. What will become of me?

That's something to think about.

Selamat Hari Raya to you anyway. Whoever you are, if you're reading this, have a good celebration. And if like me, you don't celebrate Eid, then have a safe day filled with happiness.

(:

Dad appreciation post.

My father may not be anything close to perfect but he is the best person I have ever known. I appreciate and love him and cherish all the crazy that comes with it.

He may not know how to behave like a conventional father but he has definitely taught me plenty. I love you, Dad. I love you always.

Happened again today. I might be going mad.

Cat peed in my sister's hair while she was asleep this morning. Soaked through her pillow.

Now ain't that rad.